- Wikipedia’s definition of a Know-it-all:
- A know-it-all or know-all is a person who obnoxiously purports an expansive comprehension of a topic and/or situation when in reality, his/her comprehension is inaccurate or limited.
Obnoxious. That's what it is. Obnoxious.
This
morning, when standing at the kitchen bench, I picked up the little cards of
inspiration that I have sitting on the window sill, a gift someone had given me
some while ago – and flicked through them to see which one I would have up for
this week. It came up with ‘Silence is
one of the greatest arts of conversation’.
Oh how true
that is.
If only
more people would have that little message sitting on their window sills to
remind them of the skill of a great conversationalist.
This particularly relates to people leaning towards my age.
Know-it-all people. Pain in the a…..es
people. And generally those people
approaching the early sunset of life. In
other words, people in and around my age group. Boring
know-it-alls.
Seems to be
an infliction that comes on with the aging body, aging mind. Bloody know-it-alls.
It’s
driving me nuts. They won’t shut
up. They don’t seem to know or
understand that yes, one can and often does know it all, but who the ...... cares!?? Shud up about it and let someone
else talk.
It has been bugging me forever. The Know-it-alls.
This breed of constant bores was highlighted to me yet again tonight. Met with
some friends this evening – lovely catching up – always is when you have not
seen folk for a while, such a lot to talk about and such a lot to share.
There were six of us, chin wagging over a
wine or two.
As when
groups of people get together there tend to be the dominant, the
not-so-dominant and then those that actually add value to the conversation.
Re read
that sentence, take off your Know-it-all hat and try your best to understand what I mean.
I speak
from one who is probably seen as a ‘dominant’ in many situations.
Yet (and I am being a Know-it-all on this topic) I usually am not. I like to hear other people talk, even if I do know more than them.
Tonight
it happened on three or four occasions in one conversation. Someone was relating a story, an experience,
when one of the others in the group could not restrain him/herself and butted
into the conversation with their own view of the topic line. On two of those occasions they started the
butt in with, “Well when I last did that I …..” Grrr, methinks. Let someone else tell the story, it’s far more
interesting; you are far more boring.
With so many people who come from my era it seems to be
a case of constant ‘I am-ness”.
Only a few
weeks ago was with another group of people where someone was relating their
first experience at having run a marathon.
This person held the interest of the rest of the group when extolling
the virtues of his marathon effort and what a supreme achievement he had deemed
his crossing the finish line. None of
the others in the group were aware of my history of running or running
marathons so was interested in how the new marathoner had his audience
metaphorically in the palm of his hand as he gave advice on the whys,
wherefores and howfores of running a marathon.
Indeed, the more he spoke the more he realised people were tuned in so
the more he elevated his self position into one of being an expert on marathon
running and its virtues.
I have only
run over a hundred of them – so probably don't quite know it all -but felt this was his opportunity to feel good,
his time to feel credit for his knowledge and his time to have the others
admire and congratulate. It was
nice.
I was glad I did not butt in with
my own experiences. I was glad I stayed
smut. Even though I disagreed with much
of his so-called words of wisdom, I still enjoyed his time in the lime light.
This
incident reminded me of another situation with a group of ladies and one of
them had recently returned from an overseas trip where she had visited parts of
North Wales.
She gave a
lovely account of her journey there, her exploring various villages and towns
of North Wales and relating to all in listening distance the advice on walking
or travelling through the North Wales countryside. For those that know me, North Wales holds a big
sentimental part in my travel life and history.
My dearest friends have lived there all their lives and whenever I have
travelled to the UK, which has been numerous times now, I never travel there
without a sojourn to their little town in North Wales. I have run every walkway, every old train line,
through almost every village and crossed every field and style available. Seen every view, topped every mountain. I feel like I know the area better than I
know my own backyard in Auckland – I know North Wales really well.
But this
lady was so engrossed with retelling her first time experiences and travels
there and relating some of the history and scenery of the place, as though she
was an old traveller to the area, that I did not have the heart to interrupt and
let her and others know my history with the place. Why would I?
That would have burst her bubble.
I had nothing to gain, except self-importance. I don’t feel the need for that. Pity a few more Know-it-alls don't feel the same way.
Seriously
though, how often are we in situations – on a daily basis – where a
conversation is being had and someone is holding forth with a topic, only to
have someone else edge into the talk with giving their own experience.
How often
have we heard someone talking then someone else saying, “That reminds me of ….” And off they go? Or, “I remember when I was ….”
Grrrr. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
For
instance only last week someone was telling me they had a certain injury and
began to give me a little more detail on the pain they were suffering, when
another in the group piped up, “Oh, I’ve had that injury, its……” Grrrrr
SHUD UP!!
Silence is
one of the greatest arts of conversation.
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