Think I
need to read the last post every day. To
look in the mirror and remind myself about being positive anytime I see or think
something negative.
There have
been a few challenges these past few days.
There seems to have been a metaphorical land slide of things going wrong
that have challenged my cognitive brain to think positive, as opposed to
negative. Am thinking about Tony on each
occasion and mentally asking myself, what would Tony do, or say?
Aside from
the breakage incidents referred to in earlier blogs, more breakages keep
coming. Washed the big waka-van last
weekend and found that someone had mildly hit the back corner of the vehicle
resulting in a broken rear, reflector/light.
As the Warrant of Fitness is due I will need to pay prompt attention to
having the light repaired/replaced. A
phone call to Terry, the infamously positive mechanic soon deduced that the
cost to repair would be only a couple of hundred, or, five hundred dollars. Checked with the insurance company and not
worth losing the excess plus paying the
increase in premium. They’ve got one by
the … short and curlies, the insurance companies.
Most
upsetting though as it is yet another bill that was unexpected. As was the $1,100.00 bill received in the
mail last week for something I was not expecting. And so unexpected that I could only put the
bill on the pile of others and decide to face it some other, more positive
time. The broken light put paid to that
time occurring.
Before
either of these things occurred I had vowed to myself that I would not be
opening my wallet for anything for a week – no coffee, no treats,
nothings. That lasted less than 24
hours. Was swimming in the pool next morning and after the usual 2 kilometre
swim dragged my body from the pool to
the shower for the sole purpose of getting dressed and having my usual
post-swim caffeine fix. Ahh… it
tasted so good that everything seemed so positive.
Then I arrived home to that bill in the mail
box. Don’t see how Tony could have found
something positive in that. Am waiting
for his sign of positivity.
The
following day’s mail seemed almost as negative, for a mere ten seconds, when I
found the amusing side to it. It was a
letter from Auckland Hospital informing me that they had received the referral
from my GP regarding my bung knee and on reviewing the referral the orthopedic
surgeons had put me on the ‘Urgent’ list.
Therefore I should receive a follow up letter for an appointment with them within
5 months. That was funny, which was a
positive.
Have also
been waiting for Tony to give me some sign of guidance and positivity over
another matter that has been worrying me dreadfully over the past few
days. My tummy has been churning over
and over on an issue that is really none of my business but is close to my
heart. Have been thinking, “What would
Tony have done?” Or, “What would Tony tell me to do?” In actual fact, Tony would never tell me to
do anything – he would merely sit and ponder and offer some Soloman-type
comments and tell me that I would have to do that which I felt right.
He loved
the fact I had personal values. But with values one can often be faced with complications.
Values and
complications caused me not to sleep well these past few nights - worrying over
something dear to the heart - and have hung out waiting for a natural sign of
some form, be it from Tony or within. It
had not come. Until looking in the
mirror this morning and thinking of him, then I knew, I could not not act. And Tony would have approved, I am positively sure.
The mirror
reminded me that one should never look in and reflect back that one shoulda, or
coulda, or woulda. One must be able to
look in the mirror and know you did not show indifference to an apparent possibility of an injustice.
Irrespective
of whatever the outcome may be on this occasion, thanks again Tony, nice to
know you are still helping me forge this life without you. That makes me feel briefly positive.
But could
you please be a bit quicker with your guidance in future!
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