Was it worth it?

Someone asked me yesterday, "Well, was it worth it?  Did they notice all the good work you did?" 

Yes, it was worth it - of course it was.  All the digging, pulling and filth I put myself through, by my own choice, the other day in the garden at Whangamata.  And the feelings I put upon myself of feeling as though I had been committed to a detention centre for the mere few days I was there - that was all selfish and wasted emotion.  It was well worth it.

I left the property before they arrived back from their Australian sojourn, with some apprehension as to if they would feel annoyed, insulted and just plain angry at the work I had done.  We chose to meet half way - I was traveling up to Auckland, they were return to Whangamata from Auckland so we met at a cafe half way.  I decided not to mention any of the twit incidents, any of the trips back to the city, nor the house cleaning or garden jobs I did in a perhaps misguided way of helping.  So was enormously relieved to receive this text from them once they had arrived home:

"Wow, the place feels like the cleaning and gardening fairies have run riot!  Unbelievably nice to come home to.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Can't tell you how much we loved knowing you were minding our family and space. Cats are slowing forgiving us. So nice to be home and to come home to it like this.  Slothed in chair now.  Ta very much dear dear friend. xxxxx"

It was worth it.  

People matter.  That's why I didn't say "no".  And probably never will.

Thought that to myself again yesterday afternoon when I was sitting at the bedside of a dear, dear old friend who has just been put into a rest home as her son felt he could no longer look after her. I reminded myself that I came to see her because she matters.  I did not want to go visit, at all.  It is always a strain visiting her, she is deaf so one has to yell to be heard; she cannot see all that well and she is semi-bed bound. These places remind me so much of the last few months of Tony's life.  I still cannot enter a hospital or the like without a few moments to take myself from public site and wipe away and blot out the tears and sadness.  When she asked last week if I would visit I wanted to say "no".  I didn't and said I would.  I went.  She looked so very sad when I walked in yesterday but her face lit up when she saw it was me and was so very grateful, I had been her only visitor in 4 days. As I left yesterday she asked if I would come again, without hesitation I said I would.  After all, it's not about me, it's about her.

The few hours out of my afternoon to visit yesterday was worth it.

People matter.  I'll no doubt never say "no".