50 Quirky & Interesting Things (in my little mind) About Italy & Italians

There are so many.

1. Like their toilets.  Need not to delve into too much here, literally and in scripting- but one holds one’s breath each time there is a requirement to utilise the facilities.  What treat would we have in store in this one?
   Actually, was very concerned when leaving NZ how my knee would hold up with no regular gym strengthening work on the quads and hamstrings to aid the knees ability to work correctly.
   No problems there – just utilising the Italian toilets gives me all the quad/hamstring/knee squatting strengthening work I could ask for.  The more I drink water, the more the quads get a great work out - holding that knee joint on a certain angle.  Therefore, incontinence can be looked upon as  a great work out. 
   The loos themselves – particularly in cafes, restaurants and public places - It’s all a bit yuk.
   Public lavatories are rare here and once found, there is always a cost – from 1 Euro to 1 Euro 50.
2. Takeaway coffees (you knew coffee would have to be high on my list of anything).  They don’t do takeaway coffees.  At all.
3. Coffees.  Generally the Italians rush in for their quick coffee on the way to work, order the espresso and stand at the counter and drink it as one would drink a shot of something alcoholic. You can sit down at a table and drink it, but it costs extra – to sit.
4. Lattes.  They don’t do lattes; despite them thinking they do.  Their espresso (short blacks) are good, but latte to them is merely warmed milk.  We saw someone order a latte and received just that, warmed milk.  The best alternative is to order an Americano coffee, that’s as close as you will get to something we know of as a flat white. For us to get a good latte-style coffee in the manner we are used to we ask for a ‘coffee latte’ (so they know it’s not just hot milk and will put a severely weak shot of coffee in it), plus an espresso.  Then when we get the two we tip the entire espresso into the coffee latte and presto!  We have a barely reasonable latte.
5. No Starbucks anywhere.  Well, hardly anywhere. Yay.
6. SMOKING!  AS IN CIGARETTES!  Unbelievably backward here.
   Almost every Italian smokes.  Everywhere.  City, country, everywhere.  Unfathomable.  They have universities everywhere and love telling the tourists how many universities they have – yet they continue with the moronic and unintelligent habit of smoking.  Where is the intelligence in that?  We asked Michaella that question (he admitted, guiltily to smoking) and he just laughed.
   One sees a most attractive Italian woman, dressed to kill, then she lights up a fag and BLAH, she’s ruined the picture.
7. Dressed to kill women.  They do.  And do it with style.  They dress beautifully.  If I came home in the style the average Italian woman dresses in it would be considered OTT – or mutton as lamb.  Lots of flowing clothing.  Lots of colour (which I do love). Lots of gold jewellery.  Fabulous shoes.  Scarves for every outfit.  None of this old Italian women dressed in black over their matronly bodies.  The older Italian woman dress so beautifully and stately.  Gold jewellery and all. 
   We saw a woman today who was well past the age of 80, and she was dressed in a lime green suit.  Skirt & jacket.  And it looked really smart, she looked fabulous.  Mind you, none of that stupid permed hair either for these older women. Styled only.
   The fashions here are exquisite.  Italian women are so beautiful. New Zealand women could learn much.
   It is rare to see women dressed in the Kiwi womens’ love of all black.  In all our touring around Italian cities and towns we would have seen less than 5 women dressed in all black.  Walk down Queen Street any business lunchtime and there are thousands of cloned black dressed Kiwi office workers.  Like giant ants.  Or crickets.
   Italian women – think a cross between Sophia Loren and Bridget Bardot and their glamour and  style and you have the average look here. Class, style, elegance and head turning.
8. Men dressed to kill.  All of them.  Young and old.  Appearance to an Italian (male and female) is VERY important. Pity we can’t have a bit more of that in NZ.
   No crack hugging, sloppy pants with crutches down to their knees – that’s so NOT here for young teenagers and men in Italy.  These guys dress immaculately, whether 17 or 77. 
   Not one backward wearing cap – what dumbo thought of that anyway? No underpant elastic showing, no such thing as a hoodie (have not seen one on an Italian youngster), no dragging or scuffing of feet cause their legs are too heavy to lift – as they seem to be for so many hoodie-wearing-crack-showing-underpant-showing zombies in NZ; no jandals.   The young 16-26 year olds ain’t cloned here, they are all smart, snazzy, with great haircuts; individuals and handsome.
    
9. And the older men – they are head turners too.  Had a conversation with American women who were discussing just this factor – that the older men dress so beautifully.  I am talking 50-95 year olds.  Jeans, immaculately pressed, great colour shirts (pastel greens, pinks, yellows). Great shoes, classy, expensive and always unmarked.  Great sports jackets – blue, green, pink, white, cream – any colour, with jeans – looks fab. Stylish haircuts – whether they are almost balding or with full head of hair – it’s clearly upgraded monthly.  Our Kiwi Gold Card holders could do much with spiffing up their dress standards from Farmers or The Warehouse to an Italian standard menswear shop. Think Rodd & Gunn.
10. Family.  The whole of NZ could do with looking to Italy on this.  Family matters.  There is no such thing as a rest home here. 
    After my heart ache over my friend who died last week in a rest home this is close to my heart.  There are no rest homes here.  They look after their old.  It comes naturally, without family conflict.  It happens.  Not in NZ – with the epidemic of ‘Me’ the older folk get put away – out of sight, out of mind – into rest homes.
    Not in Italy.  Italians look after family.
11. Corks. As in wine bottle corks. Yay for the Italian cork.  Almost all wines are corked.  Something magical was lost when the wine cork was disposed on in New Zealand.  That ‘pop’ of the cork represents happiness, conviviality and a sense of comfort.  I miss that cork popping at home.  So we’ve done lots of it here.
12. Road rules.  There aren’t any.
    Traffic lights and pedestrian crossings are for decoration only.  Stop signs don’t mean stop.
    Some of the major roadways have no lane marking. It’s like dodgems.  Reminds me of Buenos Ares. 
13. Which brings me to their driving – AND CYCLISTS AND VESPAS. 
    Yes, Italians drive crazily.  BUT there are tens of thousands of cyclists everywhere – and millions of vespers – especially in Florence and some of the other smaller cities.
    As mad as the Italian driving is – they actually are great with cyclists – and cyclists here wear no helmets.  And SO MANY people cycle.  Old, older.  Middle old and older.  Actually didn’t see too many teenagers, except for uni students (every small city has universities).
    But you see old men, old women, heading through the  busiest streets of traffic and the cars do not aim for them.
    In NZ every man and women who get behind the wheel of a car sees a cyclist as

A target

An idiot

To be eliminated

Here they are merely driven around and given lots of room. 

When we went to Verona, felt we were in Holland, such were the great numbers of cycles.


14 Supermarkets and shopping malls.  Hurrah, there are hardly any.  Specialist shops only – in villages, towns and cities.  We have been to a couple of supermarkets, but they are hard to find.  No mega stores seen anywhere along the thousands of miles of highway we have travelled.  You want fruit and vegetables?  Go to the small store or the roadside or piazza vendor.  Same for the meats, fish and breads.


15. Meat.  Not a lot of beef in this country.  It is because they do not have beef farms, or very little.  Not helped by the Mad Cow problem in Europe a few years ago. They are pig farmers here.  Which means wonderful ham, prosciutto, salamis, pork.  Yum.  Still, have missed the ferritin giving stuff though.   However at $NZ50-60 a kilogram, am happy to down loads more of their great tasting and economical prosciutto.


16. Kiwi fruit.  Loads of it in Italy.  Yay.  Great for our NZ export market.  They seem to love it.            


17. Hotel rooms. No such things as tea and coffee in hotels or any accommodation rooms.  I miss that majorly.


18. Tea.   There hardly is any. Italians don’t do tea.


19. Corruption.  Yep, it’s rife here.  We have been told numerous times by Italians how corrupt authorities are.  Everything is ‘negotiable’.


20. Smoking.  Thought I’d drop that back in.  Arrghhh…. Told you it was still third world in many aspects – that’s one.


21. Customer service.  There is none.  Whatever the trade.  Governmental or hospitality.  They are not there to serve you.  They are there because they are collecting a weekly pay packet.


Oh, heck - all the formatting has gone haywire now - too bad, haven't got time to fix is - needless to say that the next point is point number 22....  and finishes at 50.

1. Italians are not well travelled.  Which explains point above.  Overall they hardly travel.  Despite all the Italians restaurants we have in NZ and Australia, those ones are the exception.  Overall, they hardly leave Italy and thus know not what we well-travelled think they should know.
2. 
   
3. Fuel prices.  We moan.  We shouldn’t. The gas station we have just pulled out of is selling diesel for E 1.75 per litre (NZ$2.75)  if you serve yourself, or E 1.85 ($2.88 NZ) per litre if you request service to fill your tank.  And it only comes from a couple or three countries away.
4. 
   
5. Sundays are family days.  Just like it used to be when we were young in New Zealand before that changed over the decades – we’re all too busy to have family days.  Pity. Italians have got that right.
6. 
   
7. People. This country has 62 million people.  And they think approximately 27 million illegal immigrants.  We can tell.  They’re the ones selling the fake Rolex, Prada and souvenirs at every tourist spot.  Or begging.  Usually with child at breast.
8. 
   
9. They are also all smokers too – so that says it all.  Beg for money then go buy smokes.  Yep, intelligence questionable.
10. 
    
11. SPQR.  Won’t ever go into that restaurant in Ponsonby Road again.  The letters SPQR are emblazoned on every street gutter, man hole and sewer cover in Italy.
12. 
    
13. Andiamo.  That over rated restaurant in Jervois Road, Andiamo.  It means, “let’s go”.
14. 
    
15. Health system.  They may not be able to get their wifi up to world-wide scratch, but every Italian proudly tells us how good their health service is.
16. 
    
17. That’s probably why they smoke. They know they’ll get their lungs, throats, legs and other bits taken off or out without cost so puff away.  Arghh… cough… cough
18. 
    
19. Spaghetti.  Was not an Italian invention after all.  It was Chinese.  Marco Polo on his travels to China came back with spaghetti. 
    This begs the question – why don’t we see spaghetti pasta in China?
20. 
    
21. Casanova.  He was real.  I always thought he was more mythical than factual.  Not so. He came from Vienna and there are plaques around the pace denoting where he lived.  And the prison he was sent to.  And plaques for every other person I’ve never heard of.
22. 
    
23. Vivaldi came from Vienna too.  And a whole bunch of other famous musicians but my mind has gone blank on who they were.
24. 
    
25. Shakespeare was a plagiarist.   Tis true.
26. 
    
27. Romeo & Juliet really did exist.  They were Italian, Romeo and Giulietta.  Their true story was written up by an Italian, Shakespeare liked the story and rewrote it Shakespeare-style.
    There really is a balcony.  In Verona. We were taken to it. Got photos of it – as have all the other thousands of tourists.
    
28. And a bronze statue of Giulietta  (Juliet) where, if men rub her breast they will be lucky in love.  If women rub the elbow (how boring) we get lucky in love.  
    I rubbed both elbows (why miss any good omen or opportunity! ), but couldn’t get Delwyn to go near one elbow, let alone two.
     
     
29. Tourists.  Those who have travelled to Italy.  Have to have the biggest bums ever seen.  Lord knows how they fit down bus or plane aisles.
30. 
    
31. Vegetables.  Apart from tomatoes (which I don’t eat), zucchini and egg plant – and maybe the odd capsicum – not a lot of veges here.  Am missing the broccoli, the beans, the pumpkin, the carrots, the green cabbage ….   Even their salads consist of Iceberg lettuce only and maybe some grated carrot.  That’s all.  No Cos, Rocket, Mesculiin. 
32. 
    
33. Tunnels.  Italians are fabulous at making tunnels.  We can’t even get one under our harbour.  Italians would have had six under there by now.  Tunnels everywhere – big, small, short, long, deep – wonderful tunnels.
34. 
    
35. Motorways.  Lots of AND smooth asphalt.  No tar with loose stones tossed on top in this country.  AND NO TRUCKS in fast lanes where there are three lanes or more.  Of course that system works.  They have that system in the UK – works perfectly.
36. 
    
37. Toll roads.  Lots of them everywhere.  Which explains why they can afford the two points above.  But, that works too.  Get over it New Zealanders- just start paying the tolls and get better roads.
38. 
    
39. Bread. Hard bread.  That’s how they like it.  Hard, as in 3 days old hard – even when its less than one day old, it’s hard.  Yet to come across a soft, fresh loaf or slice anywhere.  Only once have had the opportunity of anything wholemeal or grain – and that was at the home of the Italian family we stayed at – they had made their own grain bread – it was like caviar to my taste buds.  I long for a 5-grain or Vogels.
40. 
    
41. Lack of obesity.  It’s been a talking point between Del and I in our first few days in Italy and now among many on this hi-de-hi bus we are on.  Even the obese ones who are on the bus.  With 62 million, plus 27 million illegal people around this place one would think we should see millions of obese people – especially when considering all Italians eat daily diets of hard breads, pastas, pizzas, prosciuttos, salamis, olives, oils, wines and gelatos.
    We haven’t fathomed that one out – even after asking lots of Italians why there aren’t hospitals full of obese people.  They smile and say – we don’t eat junk food.  Yeah, right – pizza, pasta, wine, ice cream – they don’t class this as junk food.  
    Funny, isn’t it.  Weird funny.
    Go figure.
42. 
    
43. Post Note To This Point:  There certainly are no Macdonald’s, Burger Kings, Taco Bells, KFCs in abundance in Italy.  Only in the tourist cities where there are lots of tourists who crave the stuff.  Of course, always handy when in a strange city to find a Macdonald’s and know you can use their loo.  Went into one in Florence and bemused at the queues of American & German tourists in there.  And sadly, just outside the walls of Pisa yesterday there was a Macdonald’s and Burger King and Subway.  Full of tourists. Shame.
    We gather most Italians do not eat between meals.
44. 
    
45. Rosé Prosecco.  Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. The best.
46. 
    
47. Graffiti.  Sad, but everywhere.  Horrible.  I know it’s everywhere in Europe as hear people being surprised at seeing it in Paris – along with rubbish.  Rubbish everywhere here too.
    As Italians don’t travel much, they don’t realise it is unacceptable in many places in the world.  Makes one all the more happier to live in NZ.
    Rubbish and graffiti elimination has got to begin at the top- here, anywhere.  Government, regional, local, educationally, home.
    Fortunately for us 2, it was eliminated at the small Italian medieval village we walked to and through.  They need the tourism, so kept their towns clean. The big cities couldn’t care less – there will always be tourists.
48. 
    
49. School – one for the Shelleys, Mels and co.  School here is 6 days a week.  Moan not about being a NZ teacher.
50. 
    
51. Spritz.  Yum.  Almost as good as Rose Prosecco.  I want some, now.
52. 
    
53. Table cloths and tea towels for bath towels and hand towels.  Been staying in some 3 star hotels on this hi-de-hi tour – and some of them utilise what looks and feels like table cloths for bath towels – and tea towels for hand drying.
54. 
    
55. Smoking - ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AND FINALLY, NUMBER 50

50.  Italy and Italians – coming to Italy one must realise being Italian is a totally different life style, totally different culture than where we come from.  Just as travelling to China you would expect to see and be in a totally different culture.  Or travelling to Nepal you would be expecting a totally different life style and culture.  Or Peru, or India, or Kenya, or whatever other very different life style and culture – as it is in Italy. 

It has bemused me on this bus with the surprise some of the Americans initially had to find that Italians are different and that Italy is different.  They seemed to expect another USA just with people speaking another language.  One family told me one evening over dinner that they couldn’t understand why Italians do things differently in Italy.  The ones they know in New York don’t!  But then, of all the Americans on this bus, only two have ever been out of the USA before.  So it was not surprising that they were surprised – it is renowned that the US has less passports per head of population than most other Western countries.  Italy may beat them.

Italy – it’s Italian.  And full of them.